Hisbabyk0

My Boyfriend

He always believes in me, no matter what situation I’m facing he never doubts me for a second. I don’t have anyone else that believes that I can succeed so having him in my life is a blessing. Without him and his support my life wouldn’t be as good as it is right now. I lovee my boyfriend (:

Thinking of the things I should of said or done differently, regretting how nervous I was & letting it get to me. I thought I was stronger I knew I would be nervous, but not to the point of where I’d be repeating myself and stuttering. I guess I should of been myself, but I’m now thinking to myself if that would of even been enough? I guess this is what learning the hard way feels like and I hate that feeling; I hate the feeling of failing at something that could of resulted in a better outcome if I did it differently.  I know this is dumb for bringing this up , but I was listening to Lupe Fiasco “Words I never said,” and to me the meaning of that song is say what’s on your mind at that moment do not pass it up because speaking your mind can’t be any worse than never saying anything at all. Ugh…I’m regretting everything I didn’t say and now I wish I did because at least I know that I was judged on being myself rather than being judged for someone I wasn’t. Well, I guess since I’m new to it I’ll learn from my mistakes and that there will always be other chances…. I don’t know I’m trying to make myself feel better, but for right now I’m just going to sulk in the what if’s and the could of’s.

are you afraid to grow up?

Sort of. I’m at the point in my life where I have to.

anything you are looking forward to?

Yes! This weekend Valentines Day & Wekfest the next week!! (:

do you have someone who you can be your complete self around?

Yes. I don’t waste my time being around people who i cant anymore.

what are your outlooks on gay/bisexual relationships?

Love has a different definition for everyone so if you’re happy then that’s all that matters.

how many kids do you want to have?

Four.

anyone you were good friends with, that you no longer get along with?

It’s not that I didn’t get along it’s that we grew apart.

do you trust all your friends?

Only the ones that haven proven to me that I can.

is there someone that makes you happy every time you speak with them?

Not all the time, but he makes me happy most of the time (:

do you think you’ve changed over the past year?

Yes a lot. And I’ve learned so much about myself because of it.

I’d rather be by myself than be surrounded by shit talkers & two-faced people.

(Source: )

Can’t wait until Spring/Summer come along I hate the cold weather!

Marriage

Probably one of my biggest fears in life. It’s not that I do not plan to be married one day it’s the fact that I’m scared that I’ll make the wrong decision. I know it sounds crazy, but I’ve grown up around marriages that were based on dating for 8+ years before they get married and then the men in the relationships start to act differently. I’m not only judging the men it’s just that I have more women in my family and it’s based on my experience. I’ve seen people in my family suffering to keep family together because having kids makes it even harder. And it’s like even though you think you know the person that you’ve fallen in love with because of the history; it’s not true at all. People change.  It scares me to death knowing that, that can happen to me and because of that and other reasons I can’t see myself ever wanting to get married.

Why is it so hard to find friends who will genuinely care about you. No one values friendship anymore. If I could find friends who are genuine I’m going to treasure them (:

Trying to stay strong so these tears don’t show my sadness, but my eyes see what my heart feels & I crumble into pieces.